I’m not going to make Anthony Weiner jokes. The New York Post has staked out that turf bigtime – their copyeditors are having the week of their life creating headlines with every double entendre you’ve ever read.
But I’m not about to ignore Chris Matthews’s absurd suggestion that Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, might be somehow responsible for his sexting behavior if she knew about his tendencies prior to their marriage – the only proof of her knowledge being Weiner’s say-so, which means Matthews is trusting a demonstrated liar to tell the truth. Even if she did know, though, how does that make her responsible for his actions? What is she, Weiner’s mommy? Her husband’s keeper?
If Chris Matthews told his own wife, Kathleen, “Honey, I’m going to send vulgar, unsolicited sext-messages to women I’ve never even met,” would she be responsible for his actions? Nope, didn’t think so.
What I mainly want to say is to Huma herself: My dear . . . run.
Yes, I’ve read the reports that you’re pregnant. That makes it tougher to leave a husband, but not impossible. And yes, we know you’ve been married less than a year. In fact, that could be a sign to you . . . you found out relatively early that the man you married is not the man you thought you wed.
Your husband is much older than you. He’s had things his own way for a long time. He’s developed traits and characteristics which by now are impossible for him to break. The evidence is mounting that he acts in an immature, gross fashion that respects no one’s healthy boundaries. His initial reaction to being found-out was to joke. From there he moved to a right-wing conspiracy.
It’s one thing for the deceived Hillary Clinton to claim a right-wing conspiracy – she didn’t know Bill was lying through his teeth. It’s quite another for the architect of a lie – Anthony Weiner – to claim the other side was out to get him.
And that, Huma, is the biggest reason to run from this horribly wounding marriage. You’ve discovered that the man you married is a liar.
If your husband came after you with a gun or knife, you could run. You could call 911 and seek help from others. You could ask the police to arrest him. But lies cannot be seen. You don’t know when someone lies to you. There’s no visible weapon, no brandished blade or Glock. And no 911.
If you stay, you will never know when your husband lies. But he will. He’ll start with small, inconsequential matters. Having succeeded at pulling the wool over your eyes, he’ll then move on to bigger things. Eventually, in a month or a year, he’ll start lying about other women. Because people like Anthony Weiner are like skylights. It’s not a question of if a skylight will leak. It will leak. The only question is when.
Living with a liar is like walking in a perpetual morass. You never know when your solid footing will dissolve into quicksand, and the constant attention you have to pay to what’s underneath you, well, it wears you down. You think one crisis is over when, surprise! There’s more!
Every day, you’ll sustain wounds. Your pride will be hurt, your contentment will vanish, you will never feel at ease. Not a day will go by when you won’t wonder what lies you’ve been told.
Please learn from others. Please don’t let yourself be so disrespected, so abraded and insulted. If you are pregnant, please protect your future child from growing up with a father who abuses his wife with the taint of deceit.
You deserve better.
Run, Huma. Run.