Mismatched

Some of the cast from the BBC's "Robin Hood"

 

The OKCupid site I signed up for (and have yet to post my picture on, darn, no wonder no one’s writing) just sent me a funny map graphic, showing me where in the US and the world I would find the most best-matched men for me, “calculated from your match answers”. I’ve examined it. For a whole two minutes, I pored over it. Unfortunately, there’s no explanation of why. Or why not.

Here are the alleged best US states for me-type men: NH, MD, VA (ha! – funny, I’ve lived here for years, haven’t met The One yet), RI, DE

The worst states: SD, GA, MO, WV, TN.

Okay, I’ll agree with the southern ones, anyway. I wonder what men in SD would think of me? Why wouldn’t they like me?? What’s wrong with those SD guys???

The best nations for my guy: Israel, Slovenia (I actually had to look at the map — blush. It’s that small place just east of northern Italy, south of Austria), Sweden (check), Finland (check again), Jamaica (they’ve got to be kidding with Jamaica, I am so not laidback, I’d drive a Jamaican man crazy)

The worst nations: Malaysia (yup), Pakistan (double-yup), Turkey (yup-yup-yup), UK, Ireland

Look what they did!

They cut out Ireland and the UK! Both! That includes Wales and Scotland and N. Ireland as well as England! How could they do that? It deprives me of all sorts of Anglophone men with lovely accents!

Noooooo!!!!!

I’m distressed.

Obviously I never told OKCupid how much I like UK/Irish accents. To be fair, they never asked. But they should have known, right? With all their other intrusive questions (e.g., “How often do you masturbate?” That one, I skipped. Nobody’s damn business.), they ought to have divined that a guy who speaks Yorkshire gets extra points.

Also, how different, really, are the UK/Ireland from Sweden? Lots of similar genetics (that Viking seed). Scotland and England even share the North Sea with Sweden. Similar-ish politics. Come on, they’re really the same, like twin sons of different mothers, except the Swedes are much more conformist. And polite.

And why are Sweden/Finland on the same list as Israel? Israel??? An Israeli and a Swede? I mean, those guys are really, really different. If one of them liked me, the other would not. No way.

I’ve concluded that some joker at OKCupid programmed (if there was a program) in a random selector, wrote that fib about “calculated from your match answers”, and spun the wheel of fortune. Because that’s the only thing that makes sense.

Which means that those Scots, those Irish (both sorts), those Welsh and Englishmen, they’re not off the table. Not at all.

 

 

 

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Filed under England, Love, Musings, UK

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